What a difference a year makes…

This is possibly the most emotional thing I have ever shared to this moment in my life as a written record. However, I know if I don’t let go of these feelings they will continue to eat at me and I will not be of peace in life. Today is one week away from me either accepting defeat or allowing God to pay the biggest miracle in my life to happen to me. So I am close to a breaking point in life. The predicament at hand is whether or not I talk to my Landlord and throw in the towel, which would not be a good look for me in the future trying to secure housing if I can’t pay past the first month’s rent. I guess for me I see life through a three quarters full glass. What that means to me is that I can see the glass almost full; I just have not idea how to make it full. I am always able to start a project at full speed, but then I hit a plateau at 3.4 and don’t know how to finish strong to make the glass full. Right now I don’t have enough energy to get the glass halfway full. I don’t even know what it would take to make $1200 or more dollars in less than a week in any legal fashion. I am so scared to ask family or friends for help or advice. So I am just kind of stuck in a hole with no idea how to get help. I know I chew off more than I could bite, but I just knew that this was the move for me. God I am just asking for a suggestion or some kind of workable solution to come to me at this point that won’t make all supporting parties in my life disappointed with me.

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