July 26, 2017

While my mind is racing with millions of thoughts, let me just try to write them all down.

So the things going on in my mind right now are a sense of worry but a sense of peace. I have been worrying a lot lately on how I am going to get my bills paid and how am I going to be able to keep pressing forward financially with my acting journey. Because of this sense of worry I applied for a job with my old school district. I knew that the chances for me getting a job were slim because I was not licensed, but I took my chance at it any way. I got called in for an interview and did really well that I was offered the job on the same day. Unfortunately, I was not able to officially accept the position because I was being honest with the person who called me. She is the person that deals with licensure and I knew eventually that would come up as an issue and so I brought it up myself. She said because I worked with a provisional license before, I would not be able to work for the district again.

In my fast paced thinking mind I wondered if this was a sign from God that I need to quit on my dream so fast or was it me trying to convince myself that I would not need this job. I don’t know what made me be honest in that moment, but it would have been better than starting the process of being hired down the line and they find out and I have wasted a whole lot of people’s time. Some part of me is sad, but I think this is the kick I needed to face my fears and move forward with taking strides to move out of Richmond.

I am just really scared. I told my sister yesterday I was scared of my dreams, but she reminded me that what I was doing wasn’t just for me. It is for everyone who has supported me in my journey. I have to get out of the selfish mindset that my journey is just for me. It is greater than me and I am glad to be able to realize that. This new experience on the road has truly helped me see the light. God is placing opportunities right in front of me and I can’t act scared anymore. This experience was like me taking a left turn when God told me to go right.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s